The Crackdown
by Rhi Rhi AKA DamienGurl666
Summary: It's St Patty Day for South Park and the town has taken great measurement to stop over drinking that causes rioting last year.


**Warning: This South Park Fan fiction story has very foul language, Drinking and a great mass mockery that the show is widely known for over the years. That I don't owned or created South Park by Trey Parker, Matt Stone and Comedy Central because I write my own stories between season breaks .It is intended for mature reading if you find it too vulgar to read that you have the choice to do not read it at all or do not a give a crap at all which I hope that you will be enjoy it and laugh your ass off**

**The Crackdown**

One sunny morning has recently settled over the small and sleepy mountain town of South Park, Colorado. Down at the police station inside the large briefing room which many uniformed and plain clothes police officers are seated at the many rows of desks and chairs along they are looking through their papers now. But Chief BarBrady came walking up to the stage which Sgt. Yates, Lt. Dawson and Yates' toadie Mitch Murphy Harris had already taken their seats there and that very moment the slightly overweight police chief stands behind the podium which he is overlooking that the notes that the mayor had written for him last night which she wants a crackdown on over served bar patrons because there was a drunken St. Patty's Day riot happened last year which it was led by Randy Marsh and the other fathers that causes a lot of damage to the downtown area.

"Okie -dokie ladies and gentlemen that the reason that I called you all here for this meeting because our lovely mayor wants a serious crackdown on the drunken stupidity that always happens on St. Patty's Day every year. Which the last year's festive drunken celebration that turns into full-scale riot that costs us a major repairs to the town that I mean we need to step up on crowd control and drunkenness before it gets out of hand. In case of that you all are wondering why I have a bug up in my butt right now because the mayor is on my ass to control this problem at this very moment." Said BarBrady

"Geez BarBrady you are such a suck up to that woman for crying out loud!" said Yates.

As Sgt. Harrison Louis Yates looks at the police chief who quickly turned around from the podium which he gave his second in command a very clear mad look but he knows that he is a major suck up to the mayor/wife.

"So what a woman that he is sucking up to that you are talking about now Lou? Said McDaniels

A very familiar sounding female voice rings out from the side of the stage which all the commanding officers turn around to see who says that comment at them. At that moment they saw Mayor McDaniels standing there with her two aides looking very annoyed now.

"Oh Fuck we are in big trouble now"! Yates says in a very low whispering voice to the other three who are standing there at that moment.

"Oh did I hears we are in big trouble now did you two hears it as well Johnson and Fred?" Said McDaniels

That is when the mayor has fires back for their comment at them in a very sarcastic and annoyed sounding voice at that moment.

"Yes Madam Mayor we did." both assistants replied

The two top assistants both quickly answer back to their superior when she spoke at that very same moment as well.

"Oh Martha I know you looks and sounds mad now?" Can we have a private discussion about the crackdown on the drunkenness of St. Patty's Day? Said BarBrady

"NO! George we are not having a private discussion about the plans for the crackdown on public drunkenness for St. Patrick's Day if we have one that will includes our officers on the matter." Said McDaniels

As the blue green hair mayor just rolls her eyes at the scene and have her arms folded up by her breasts while her two assistants stand there and look on.

Cut to South Park Elem. School inside the main hallways which it was crowded by kids and the faculty was dressed in green now. It is the Friday two days before St. Patrick's Day which they all have green shirts underneath their heavy jackets now because the school is hosting the celebration for green day which the holiday actually falls on a Sunday this year?

"Hey let get those Emo kids and pinches them to death because they are not wearing any green."Said Red

Which Red Tucker standing there with the other girls like Wendy, Bebe, Heidi, Lola and Annie which the Goth kids are walking by them at that moment.

"Emo Kids Again! That we are not Emo that we are Goth get that right and secondary I'm Irish and Scottish which you conformist bitches can't pinch me anyway. Said Dylan

Which Dylan McDaniels hollered back at the girls while the other Goth Kids standing there looking at them with darken eyeliner stare that was filled with unguided rage now.

"Geez Dylan please don't have a bitch fit at all for your Fuck the World attitude for God's sake!" Bebe replied

Bebe fires back at him and rolls her eyes at them at that moment.

"Dude those goddamned Goths will not be following any conforming crowd for St. Patty's Day and wearing green for everyone at all." Said Cartman

"Oh Shut up Cartman!" Said Stan

"Yeah Cartman shut up now!"Said Kyle

"Why you shut up Kahl you damned Jew!" Said Cartman

"What did I say about belittling my people again fat ass?" Said Kyle

"Oh fuck you Kahl!" Said Cartman

Which Cartman gives the middle finger to Kyle and walks away at that moment while the rest of the boys are still standing there.

"What a fat idiot!" said Kenny?

At that very moment Kenny begins to mumbling through his hood very angry for Cartman's stupidity and his asshole ways toward life. Suddenly the first bell of the class starts to ring at that moment and they all scattered in different ways to head to class now. Which Stan, Kyle and Kenny walk to class also they have their books under their arms now.

"Geez Kyle that Cartman is being a fat asshole as always that you should not let him gets under your skin ". Said Stan

"I know Stan I tried not to fires back at his ass but his rude comments about being Jewish is the nail in the coffin for him by me." Said Kyle

That is when they are up by the classroom and very familiar faces are walking into the room now and Mr. Garrison was standing by next to Mr. Mackey which they are talking before classes begin.

Cut over to City hall inside the mayor's office which McDaniels was seated at her desk doing paperwork right now suddenly a buzz from her intercom when it crackles to life at that moment.

"Mayor there is a group of the town's bar owners are here wants to see you right now." Said Johnson

"For God's sake I'm not in the damned mood for these idiots right now." Johnson just sends them in here now." Said the Mayor

At that moment a small group of angry bars' owners along with Skeeter walks in and Johnson step in the ahead of them to take his spot by the mayor's side.

"Mayor we don't like that city's damages insurance policy plan that you and the city council folks passed and placed in for St. Patty's Day in case of drunk rioting and looting at all which all the bars and clubs in this town have to put out to cover possible damages to the town from another possible drunken riots." Said Skeeter

The fiery redhead redneck who owns Skeeter's bar and Cocktails & also is a member of the city council spoke which McDaniels just simply rolls her eyes at him because he is one who voted in favor for it at the last council meeting.

"Oh wait a minute Skeeter did you forget that you are one of those city council folks that voted in favor for it at that last meeting." Said McDaniels

Which McDaniels is currently thinking to herself what a fucking idiot this man is that he had voted in favor for the passing of that bill measurement which he can't remember at all right now and Johnson just rolls his eyes and shaking his head as well too.

"Mayor McDaniels this is not the answer to stop the rioting at all." Said another bar owner

"Well Skeeter and the other gentlemen that is standing here in this office right now should do their part to keep their bar patrons from being over served that is why hat we have this policy in the first place and do you all know how much we pays the local businesses and shopkeepers for the damages that they all caused last year people. But I all want are people around here having fun in a very safe way and our local police will be out in full force this weekend as well." Said McDaniels

She stood up from her chair while looking at them and at Johnson at that moment with a very concerned look has set in her eyes which she was not in a very good mood either.

"Actually Skeeter I see her point on this whole thing now." Said a third bar owner

An unknown bar owner stood next to Skeeter who finally realizes what the mayor has said these last fifteen minutes at that moment while she is standing there behind her desk and now have her gold wire framed reading glasses on now that was resting inside a glass case that was sitting on her desk.

"I'm not going to reverse the council's drunken insurance policy law decision that is final gentlemen if nothing left to discuss about do it now which I have a lot of work to do like the St. Patrick's Day parade right now." Said McDaniels

That is when that the disconnected bar and clubs owners finally realizes that their futile protests is not getting through her at that moment. Which they have decides to leave the office and Mayor McDaniels just lend back into her fancy leather chair and let out a big loud sigh at that moment.

"Why the hell I signed that drunken insurance policy law into law for Johnson and no luck of the Irish for me at all which I'm Irish and Scottish anyway for God's sake?" Said McDaniels

All sudden BarBrady came walking in there at that moment which she has a little smile appears on her thin ruby-red shaded lips when she saw him at that moment.

"Do you want to see me on very short notice about something urgent Martha?" Said BarBrady

"That is all for now Johnson." Said McDaniels then says" Now we got some alone time with each other for once George."

That is when the right-handed man got up from the chair and walk out of the room when he closed the door behind him at that moment which the mayor went to him and kisses him on the lips.

Back at South Park Elem. inside the lunchroom at the boys' table which they all acting goofy and playing with their food right now and laughing loudly as well too.

"Its grape basketball time so who wants to be the basket this time you guys."Said Cartman

I think its Kenny's turn this time to be the human basketball hoop cartman." Said Clyde

Which Clyde was staring at Kenny and points at him to volunteers him at that moment and Kenny quickly rolls his eyes at the thing as he mumbled through his parka's hood.

"Oh son of bitch I'm screwed." Said Kenny

"Oh come on Kinny open your damned mouth now."Said Cartman

Which Cartman has a purple grape in his hand waiting for Kenny to take his hood off to take the basket with his mouth at that moment?

On St. Patrick's Day morning on Main Street which it is so crowded with the townsfolk of all ages that the kids have a plastic grocery bags to catch the candy on the parade route and upon the stage that set up by the public library where the council members, the mayor and her assistants are seated there. Which the stage was set up in green shamrocks decorations and mini Irish flags that adored around the stage along with the podium that has the city's circular gold emblem on it and two rows of folded chairs is set up as well. Which Mayor McDaniels was wearing her long black trench coat with a charcoal gray silk scarf under her coat's collar on her jacket along with a gold Irish unity Knot with an emerald inside it pin while she was sitting down next to her aides. Down the parade's route which the boys were with their mothers right now in their hands was plastic bags for the candy that will be thrown out during the parade.

"Come on your stupid ass parade I want my damn candy." Said Cartman

"Geez fat ass do you always think about Goddamned Candy!" Said Kyle

"Shut the hell up Kahl." Said Cartman

"WH-WHA- WHAT!? Did I just hear a dirty word just now Kyle!?" Said Sheila

"Oh fuck!" Said Kyle

Which Kyle rolls his eyes and muttering under his breath over his mother's mini freak out over hearing a bad word right now while she was holding Ike in her arms at that moment. And at that moment the other four boys just looks at them all sudden they starts to hear drums as the high school marching started to play that very moment. Plus many of the town's police officers are standing by blockade barricades and doing walking patrol among crowd which some is starting to drink right now.

"Hey guys its go time to go up to the front that I want Mah damned candy now." Said Cartman

At the mobile Police command center which a big RV that was changed over for police central command that set is up to over watch and keeps tabs on possible threats Chief BarBrady and Sgt. Yates are seated and viewing the city map to see where they should send their men at right now. Which BarBrady still can't do major police work at all because that car accident he had awhile back ago and Mayor McDaniels gets worry and sick about him all time and a couple of uniformed officers came on the vehicle to grabbed their walkie talkies right now which they just got there for their very long shifts for tonight.

"Maybe I'm should go out there to patrol the streets on foot myself which I'm getting bored with all of this desk duty." Said BarBrady

That is when BarBrady got up from his seat and went over to grab a walkie-talkie himself when he about to step out of the mobile command center vehicle that Yates have stopped him at that moment.

"Sir where the hell are you going right now which Mayor McDaniels will not be very happy with you at all if she sees you patrolling the city streets that she will flipped out." Said Yates

"Lou I'm a grown man for God's sake that I'm don't need any Bro protection from our lovely woman mayor at all." Said BarBrady

Which Yates looks very dumbfounded at that very moment and Harris just turned around to look at him and BarBrady has walk out of the vehicle at that very moment.

"Lou I think the gates of hell is about to open on him very soon." Said Mitch

Outside on the stage which the mayor looks pissed as she looks over and saw her husband walking out of the command center at that moment which she was muttering under her breath when she saw him left.

"God Damnit George I don't want you out here to foot patrol at all which I want you to mind the command center you idiot." Said McDaniels

After the parade was all done and the crowd is starting to scatter and some of them are heading for the local bars and clubs to starts their binge drinking of green food colored beer right now. Which at that very moment on the stage and the men of the council are thinking to head down to the bar themselves and Mayor McDaniels walk down on the other stairs from the stage to look for her husband right now? While she walks by the boys who have a big bag many sweets that range from chocolates to sweet tarts and they have big smiles upon their rosy red cheeks faces espeaciality Cartman who is the biggest sweet junkie that is known to man.

"Dude looks all of these candy that we gotten this year." Said Cartman

"Well it is a lot better improvement over these last few years Cartman." Said Stan

"I know dude!"Said Kyle

"Let go guys to my house and overload ourselves with high amounts of sugar right now."Said Stan

"Hell yeah you guys!"Said Kenny

Which they walk all away and laughing as they sucked on a sucker while walking back to Stan's house at that moment. At Skeeter's bar and cocktails which it was super crowded with super crowded with really drunk patrons due from the green colored beer and Irish drinks right now.

"Happy St Patrick Day to everyone that drinking in this room!"Said drunken townsman one

"Holy cow I seeing double right now!"Said drunken townsman two

A Couple of twenty something townspeople are enjoying this holiday too much right now which Skeeter was behind the bar quicken with that nasty eye glare to this drunken nonsense which he just shook his head and now understands why Mayor McDaniels wants that policy law in effect. And the men like Randy. Gerald, Jimbo and others have not over drunk themselves in misery at all.

"Now I sees why Mayor McDaniels wants that law in place for because these twenty something drunks." Said Skeeter

Outside on Main Street by an alleyway which BarBrady standing by it that is when a hand landed on his left shoulder and it scared the hell of out of him at that moment. It was clearly Mayor McDaniels standing there and looking pissed off right now.

"Jesus Martha you scared the helk out of me and I know you are mad at me for leaving the command center which I sick being bored to death." Said BarBrady

"George Richard BarBrady I'm will give you something very boring to do so shut up now you idiot". Said McDaniels then says" Let's go now before someone come across us at any moment.

"Ow my sore arm Martha!" Said BarBrady

That is when she pull him off to somewhere to have some alone time with each other at that moment.

At Stan's House inside his bedroom which they going bonkers due to the sugar rush that is rushing through their systems right now just like the coffee rush from the Tweak's Bros. Coffee.

"God damnit you turds I'll kick all of your butts right now which I trying to listen to Nicki Minaj."Said Shelley

She burst through the door at that very moment.

"Oh Shit its Shelly!" Frantically said Stan

That is when she chased after them out of his bedroom at that moment.

"MOM!" Hollered Stan

But she grab Stan by the collar of his jacket but he jump out of it at that moment.

"Shelley Claire Marsh knocks it off now young lady". Said Sharon

"You won this round you turds!" Said Shelley in a mean way

"What a Fucking Bitch she is! Said Cartman in a roaring voice.

The next day on the local newspaper on the front page that this year's St. Patty Day's celebration went very well no rioting due to the new law that the town placed in effects. Only a few arrests had been made last night.

The End


End file.
